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Mar 27, 2014

The Perfect Fit :: A Love Story

I try to tell my husband how much I love and appreciate him often. Even though I do, I'm not sure I can ever truly express to him the magnitude of what he means to me. I truly believe God delivered this amazing, thoughtful, selfless man into our life at exactly the right moment, before I even realized how much I needed him.

I had just gone through a divorce. Thankfully, at the time it was a fairly simple divorce. There was no bitterness and very little drama. It was just time for that chapter of my life to close. I had gained a beautiful baby boy whom I couldn't have loved more. Mason was happy, healthy, and loved by so many. My family was incredibly supportive and adored him. But I did worry a little about the "father figure" he would eventually need in his life as a little boy. Someone to teach him how to treat his Momma, his future wife, and people in general. Someone to teach him to fix a car, how to build things, and how to pee standing up.

My best friend said the moment she first met and started talking to Tosh, she thought of me. I had no interest in meeting anyone yet, but ended up meeting him by chance later that day. We were introduced and said the typical, cordial hellos...and that was it.

But that really wasn't it after all. Even though we'd had very little conversation up to that point, I couldn't get him out of my head. I didn't figure out why right away. We spent some more time together with mutual friends, but were both reserved and didn't really even talk much. Once we finally broke out of our shells and went on a date, I realized how much we had in common. One of my biggest concerns was how his family would feel about us once they knew me. I knew how much he valued their opinions and I was petrified!

I was very recently divorced with an 18 month old. As hard as I had tried to force all of the pieces of the puzzle of my life to fit together, they never really did. Deep down, I knew that I had made choices that didn't match the path my life was intended to follow. With the exception of meeting the two great loves of my life, I wanted so badly to go back and change the choices that had brought me to this point. I wished I had done things "in the right order" so that I could feel worthy of him.

Soon after those thoughts entered my mind, I realized that without those choices, there was no guarantee that I would've ended up in the right place at the right time. Without our experiences, the people we had both become may not have been right for each other. Those choices were lessons in each of our lives that taught us how to treat each other and how we wanted to be treated. We gained an understanding of what the other had gone through and had a respect for each other that may not have been the same if it weren't for our pasts.

Tosh made a conscious choice to be the dad Mason needed in his life. The father figure I had so hoped for him. He stepped in and has raised Mason as his own without hesitation. I should've known then that his family would be just as accepting. It didn't take long for me to realize how silly it was to have anxiety about that. Every one of them welcomed Mason and me with open arms. It was one of the best feelings I have ever experienced. They treated us as part of their family from the very beginning. I was amazed and so grateful for how they included us right from the start.

Four years later, as we are considering expanding our own little family in the near future, I know I couldn't ask for a better husband and father for our children, or extended family to bring another little bundle of joy into.

I will never stop wishing I'd been able to experience a relationship with an amazing mother-in-law, as I know his mom would be. Although we weren't married until after she passed away, I don't doubt that she would be happy for us. I can't help imagining the Grandma she would be to our two boys and to the future child we pray for. I am forever grateful to her for the incredible man she and his father raised.

My little boy has a wonderful "Daddy" in his life. He has someone in his life with whom he will get to experience those boy moments. He has a big brother who he loves and looks up to.

He has more aunts, uncles, cousins and grandpas who treat him wonderfully. Though he was young enough to not remember well, he and I talk about Grandma often and about how we will get to see her again someday in Heaven.

As for this husband of mine, I don't remember when I realized why I couldn't get him out of my head so early on. At some point I just knew. Suddenly it felt as though I had never gone a day without him in my life. This time it wasn't me trying to cram the puzzle pieces into places they didn't belong. He and I fit perfectly.

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